Gay is Gay
by Simply Hopeless
Summary: Sango promised the homophobic Miroku that she'd go out with him on one condition. Too bad that condition means Miroku will have to stay in a gay bar. But with Inuyasha by his side things will be fine... right?


Hello Simply Hopeless here with a new story for you. I was almost tempted not to put this up but a few people IM with convinced me. So this chapter is dedicated to you Sakura and Tokyo. I do not own Inuyasha but this is my wacky story and I'm sticking with it. Blah, blah, hope you enjoy and I thrive off reviews so the more you review the more willing I will be to update.

Gay is Gay

Chapter One

"I will go out with you," Sango finally conceded as she leaned up against the wall of her apartment building. She tucked back a few black strands behind her ear before she slowly decided to look at her friend who had offered to drive her home.

"Wha… What! Sango you don't know how great that makes me feel," cried out Miroku and grabbed her hands. But he quickly yanked them back when he felt her pinch his hand. "Ouch Sango why so mean?" he gave her a pained look.

"You are jumping the gun here. I meant to put a **but** in there," Sango nodded her head a small smile spreading across her face.

"Well if you wanted me to rub your butt all you had to do was ask," chirped up Miroku cheerfully. He smiled and reached over to rub that lovely part of Sango that he couldn't get enough of touching when Sango grabbed his hand in a vice like grip.

"Is all your family members as dense as you Houshi-sama?" growled Sango in a low growl. "I DIDN'T MEAN THE B-U-T-T but you baka!" she screeched and tossed his hand aside just ready to walk away. Fingers already fishing into her pocketbook for her key's she was surprised when Miroku gently stopped her by touching her shoulder gently.

"Fine then what's with the B-U-T that you wanted to put in," he grumbled as he looked at her with foreboding. He looked away from her when she slowly turned to face him. A thoughtful look crossed her face before she nodded her head.

"I will go out with you **but** you have to accomplish a test," Sango replied happily. 'I wonder will he do it,' she thought curiously to herself.

"This is starting to look like an ugly but you know," growled Miroku but quickly schooled his face. "Of course Sango my sweet, anything your little heart desires I'll do. If you desire me to climb the mountains of the Himalayas to get you a precious flower I would not mind. Or if you desire me to go to the wilds of Africa to bring you back a precious lion cub I will fight the lioness off myself. Or if—"

"Okay that's enough **Ifs**," growled Sango her hand still clamped over his mouth. "Listen here Houshi-sama and if you interrupt me I swear to kami I'll hurt you so bad your ancestors will feel it," she hissed low. "Do you understand?" Sango asked narrowing her eyes.

Miroku nodded his head and Sango regretfully took her hand away from his mouth. "I understand… so what must I do?" he said calmly as he looked at her sincerely.

"You must spend two weeks in a gay bar. For at least four hours every night," Sango said passively giving him an innocent look.

"WHAT! WHAT THE HELL WHY WOULD YOU WANT ME TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! ARE YOU DRINKING WOMAN! I WARNED YOU SAKE ISN'T ALWAYS THE ANSWER SANGO! YOU KNOW GOODNESS WELL GAY PEOPLE CREEP ME OUT! YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WATCHED A SHOW LIKE WILL AND GRACE. I HAD TO RUSH TO THE BATHROOM!" shouted Miroku so loud that one of Sango's neighbor's smacked him in the head with an old boot.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" growled Old Granny Takawaya before she closed her window to continue knitting.

"Yeah of course I remembered what happened. You got sick all over her my toilet," grumbled Sango balling her hands into fists trying to control herself. "But Will and Grace is funny," she cried out defending the funny show.

"You are so sick in some ways Sango," Miroku said narrowing his eyes on the love of his life. He let out a heavy sigh and combed his fingers through his hair. "So why do you want me to go to a gay bar of all things?" he asked finally looking up at her.

"Because…. Because I know you are homophobic," Sango gave him a small smile and patted his cheek. "If you really cared about me you would do this for me," she batted her eyelashes, groaning inwardly to herself for doing something underhanded as that. "Besides I thought you said you do anything," she whimpered and looked away.

'I would like to thank the academy for giving me this awards. Also I'd like to thing soap operas, chick flicks and my kitty Kirara. Without you all I would not have Miroku so whipped,' she thought to herself in her head.

"I would do anything for you," Miroku said in his most chivalrous voice taking up Sango's hand. Quickly before she could snatch her hands from him he brushed a kiss across her fingertips.

"Houshi-sama," Sango breathed looking at him with widen eyes. 'Maybe I shouldn't do this to him,' she thought to herself before she felt a certain someone's had rubbing her ass. 'Then again he deserves it,' she growled and smacked him hard across the face.

"Bye to you to Sango. I'll make sure to pick you up for work," Miroku said cheerfully before walking off. He laughed as Sango shook her head in disbelief before saying a soft 'goodbye' to him too.

As soon as he knew Sango was safely inside of her home his shoulders sagged dramatically and he looked totally depressed. "Kami what the hell am I going to do?" mused Miroku as he got in his car and drove off to his home. But already the gears in Miroku's head was whirring quickly around trying to form a plan.

AN HOUR LATER, AT MIROKU'S HOME

"Okay I'm home!" called out Inuyasha expecting Miroku to be occupying the sofa in the living room watching television. He stopped his actions of taking off his shoes as he entered the two-bedroom apartment when he saw his best friend smack dab in his face. "Miroku… is there anything you wanted to ask me?" Inuyasha raised an eyebrow up curiously.

"I need you to be my gay lover," cried out Miroku clasping his hands together.

"O-kay I'm leaving now. See you when you come back to your senses," Inuyasha called behind him. The hanyou then smoothly did a U-turn and was already making his way out of the door.

"Wait Inuyasha I'm serious!" cried out Miroku reaching for Inuyasha's arm only to have it snatched quickly away from him.

"Yeah that was what I was afraid of," Inuyasha said calmly before he burst out running. He turned the corners of the stairway so quickly he almost slammed up against the wall twice. But even if he did he would have stumbled back and kept running.

"INUYASHA!" yelled Miroku and laid chase on his roommate. He quickly ran down the stairs and was just in time to see his best friend running out of the door. "COME BACK HERE DAMN IT!" he roared out in annoyance.

"LIKE HELL I WILL!" cried out Inuyasha and vaulted over the apartments fence not even bothering to open the gate.

"Inuyasha I was afraid of this," Miroku sighed and knowing where the hanyou might be running he made a quick left.

As soon as Inuyasha realized that he wasn't being chased anymore he rested. Back up against the street lamp he placed his hands against his thighs and took nice, deep breaths. "D… Damn Miroku," he huffed. His nose was already sniffing the wonderful smells of an outdoor noodle shop. Hands already going into his pocket to see if he had enough yen he found his hands clenching the coins when he heard the monk running towards him out of nowhere.

"Your going to be my gay lover whether you like it or not!" growled Miroku and with that he leapt on the hanyou who had turned to run again. This action only made Inuyasha smash down hard; face first onto the asphalt of the road. And even though he winced in pain at his scrapped palm and now chipped tooth, the fact that his best friend was straddled on his back was painfully obvious.

"Get off me you pervert! I like girls with boobs your too flat chested for me to be interested!" cried out Inuyasha and bucked the human off his back and was ready to sprint off again.

But just as he thought he was going to get away Miroku's hand whipped out from nowhere and grabbed his ankle. With one hard tug Inuyasha fell down on his face again with a soft 'oof'. "Dumbass don't you think I know that? I wouldn't want you as a roommate and I knew you were gay. You know I'm afraid of gay people… they're so… so happy and gay," Miroku shivered letting go of his friend's ankle.

"Then why the declaration of making me your gay lover?" grumbled Inuyasha as he brushed away bits of gravel from his cheek.

"Well it's because in order to date Sango I have two stay in a gay bar for two whole weeks. I agreed but… what if someone tries to pick me up? I mean I'm roguishly handsome so of course I might be scooped up and… what I'm trying to say is I need you to protect me," he finally cried out his face turning cherry red from embarrassment.

"Protection huh?" mused Inuyasha as he stood up. He dusted off his jeans before reaching out his hand to Miroku to hoist him up. "So you think by bringing me along as a sort of 'boyfriend' then the other guys won't try to hit on you huh?" asked Inuyasha curiously who was right for once in a long time.

"Yeah, exactly! So you do understand," smiled Miroku happily. "So will you?" he asked hopefully.

"You know this will totally ruin my reputation," sighed Inuyasha thoughtfully crossing his arms.

"What reputation you're a total delinquent!" cried out Miroku before covering his own hands. But it was too late, his declaration out.

"Now your sounding like my teachers Miroku," sighed Inuyasha pretending to look hurt. "But fine… okay who will it hurt if we just pretend. Just remember keep your hands above my waist when we are out their," scoffed Inuyasha.

"It goes without saying and no trying to manhandle me like you do with your other girlfriends," grumbled Miroku.

"Feh. So wait… I have a question," Inuyasha announced curiously as they stood their on the sidewalk.

"And that is?" asked Miroku curiously.

"Whose the woman and whose the man in this pretend relationship?" Inuyasha lifted an eyebrow curiously.

"I'm of course the man. You have long hair so you're the female in this relationship," Miroku said dismissively.

"When I kick you in the balls you'll have a high enough voice to play the girl in the relationship," growled Inuyasha warningly.

"Okay, okay Inuyasha I'm the girl. Don't have to get so personal," Miroku laughed nervously. "Wh… why don't I go buy us some Ramen," Miroku said nervously.

"Feh fine. Might as well since as of now you must provide me with all the ramen I can eat until this shitty deal is over," growled Inuyasha as he walked to the noodle shop.

"WHAT! YOU ALMOST HAVE A BOTTOMLESS STOMACH!" cried out Miroku only to receive a smirk from Inuyasha. And just when Inuyasha opened his mouth to say forget it Miroku weakly nodded his head. "Fine it's a deal," he said calmly though inwardly he was groaning to himself.

DOOM'S DAY, OUTSIDE A GAY BAR CALLED 'THE COCKPIT'

"So here we are," Miroku said in a final kind of tone as if this was the beginning of he end.

"Yep here we are," gulped Inuyasha nervously.

"Wanna get the hell out of here?" asked Miroku pleasantly already breaking out in goose bumps.

"Smartest thing you said all day," Inuyasha agreed. They were both turning around to leave when someone interrupted their exit.

"And where do you think you two are going?" came a very mischievous voice. Suddenly Inuyasha and Miroku felt their wrist grabbed in a vice like grip as they were yanked inside.

To be continued…

A/N: I don't know where the hell I'm going with this. Isn't that fun.


End file.
